To crib or not to crib...

Hail thee…I’d been exhausted by the office schedule these days, always wanted this time to blog, an empty room, silence to facilitate introspection and pen down what I feel.
Blogging is such a relaxation, especially to an oxymoronic species like me.
It’s been close to nine months now, working in the IT industry, coming in formals on weekdays and in collared T-shirts on Fridays (I hate spending money on collared T-shirts!!),trying to gel up with team members whom I dislike, being friendly and cool with people around, Genuine-ness has a place as well. Work is taken up with utmost sincerity. That is where the shoe pinches. I miss being an irresponsible guy, someone whom I’ve always been, far away from sincerity and worldly tantrums, I need some breathing space. Guess I’m getting transformed into a boring adult. Working 10 hours a day, going to bed thinking about one of the college crushes and damning the present life only to realize the past would never come, the past which is always so sweet, which I miss so much, my mistakes, my pain, my sufferings, my achievements, the people who were a part of it, friends, foes and people whom I’ve never talked to. I miss them all. I like cribbing, like any other human being. Is it bad to complain? Is it bad to seek for sympathy? Why is it, that we need to be strong (ya ohkay….to live in this bad bad world..I know that…but let me crib…atleast in my blog)
God is such a hypocrite entity. Why couldn’t we have a utopian heaven for every one.
All would have been happy. I see people around. They are so afraid to trust. The feeling of distrust is mutual. Hence every one acts in a so called “professional way”….i’ll do this you do that….give and take…….good and bad…give me a break…...ahhhhhhhhhhh It’s so relaxing cribbing here…..I feel better now….It’s 5:00 am in the morning and there is no one on the floor. Out office has adopted the go green policy so we have sensors installed through out the floors. Light is available at only those places where there is some movement. Needless to say my cubicle is the only place with lights on. I raise my head to see darkness that spreads across the floor devoid of people at this hour. It’s good, I like it this ways. This is my kingdom, solitude or loneliness whatever u may call it …here I am spending time with myself….something which I always wanted to do in recent days.

Fatalism

People say “our choices determine are future”…I seriously doubt this saying….being a fatalist……now wikipedia defines “fatalism” as subjugation of all events to pre-determinism such that free will does not exist. The definition seems to be partially correct, when it talks about subjugation to pre-determinism but incorrect when it says the absence of free will.
We will try to explore this. To begin with, Do we choose our parents? Do we choose the place we are going to take birth? The answer to these fundamental questions is “No”.
As we grow into adults we develop an ego (With respect to the feeling of ‘I’) which rules over our senses and makes us believe that we are in control. We live in our own small world where things are as simple as 1+1=2. But welcome to the real world, Things go out of control when we start daring…..trying to solve complex equations........Humans beings have always endeavored to explore their limits. Daring is the ship which needs to be boarded to do the same. People dare….those who fail, reconcile to destiny and some who succeed say nothing is impossible. But we’ll talk here about the third lot. This lot who has made it really big and knows that there is a silver lining of luck/destiny between success and failure. These are people who have realized that they were destined or chosen to act in such a way or to succeed in such a way in order to change lives around them. Hence they do not get themselves burdened with the feeling of “I’ve done it”. They are as humble as a tree bearing a lot of fruits bending down to the earth by the weight of it’s qualities.
Albert Einstine,Warren Buffet are people belonging to this league.
Returning back to choices. Life is all about making choices. We need to seek for inspiration before we make a choice internal or external. This is where the concept of god comes in. God which to me symbolizes the epitome of free-will. If we act through our free will (which might be inspired from the environment around) we act through the will of God because our free will is a part of the same. Therefore making an effort is important, because it is only action or karma that counts and contributes to any changes around, which might be good or bad.Either ways we will be acting by the will of god and inturn by our own free will. Human beings have always allowed their ego to blind them of this basic fundmental, that is why I reckon Wikipedia defines fatalism as non-existence of free will J